Civility: The Way Citizens Practice Constructive Relationships

Civility: The Way Citizens Practice Constructive Relationships

• Why do some of us toss our trash wherever it suits us?
• Why do some of us not share the sidewalk or hall with those we pass?
• Why do some of us think that playing our music at top volume is our personal privilege?

Civility is a big issue for me. I think we’re less civil than we used to be. I don’t know if it’s because we’ve become such a “me” culture that we have decided that me, myself and I are the only people that matter or if there’s more to it. I think there are various reasons as to why we have become less civil. Here are some civility issues I’d like to see improved upon:

1) Minimizing cell phone use in public places. If absolutely necessary to carry on a cell phone conversation in these places, the civil thing to do would be to keep the conversation brief, keep your voice down and/or move to a location where there are no or few other people so as to respect the personal space of others. Most people do not want to be forced to listen someone else’s conversation. Don’t make them.

2) Holding the door for others. It’s civil and polite. Take a moment to look behind you as you walk through a door and if someone is there or close behind you hold it open until the door can be relinquished to the person who follows.

3) When you see someone who could use a little extra help, offer it. Don’t stand by and watch someone struggle – be it a mother with a stroller, an elderly person with groceries, anyone who may have their hands full then drops something, a child who can’t reach something – take the few seconds to ease someone else’s load.

4) Have patience. At some point in time everyone is new to a job. You may be in a hurry but surely the new cashier isn’t intentionally moving slowly. The student driver may be a little nervous; it won’t help to beep your horn. Technological breakdowns in stores, offices, schools will happen – taking your frustration out on an innocent by-stander does nothing but make that person’s day worse and does nothing to remedy the actual problem. We live in a busy, crowded world, being impatient isn’t going to change that and isn’t going to make your or anyone else’s day more pleasant.

5) Respect other people’s time and space. Don’t make people wait but if you must, call or provide an update as to your status. Don’t think that everyone wants to hear your conversation, your fun ring tone, your music or anything else that may emanate from you, your car or your residence. We all live together in communities and move about in the same space, however, this is shared space, don’t act like you own it or that you rule over it.

The way in which I try to practice civility goes back to what my parents taught me – treat others as you would like to be treated. It is really excellent advice. We all know what we like and don’t like so how easy would it be to make sure that we ourselves avoid doing any of those things that we personally do not like? Very easy. I also try to do things that are simply polite which are also expressions of civility. I offer a smile to those I pass on the street, in the grocery store aisle or whenever eye contact is made. I use good manners. I say please and thank you. I hold doors for others. When I have a large amount of groceries on the conveyor belt and someone behind me walks up with one item to purchase I offer for them to check out before me. I am mindful of others not just myself. I try to remember that what I do may affect others and I think about whether those effects are civil and respectful.

I think we have become too focused on ourselves and when you do that it’s very easy to see uncivil actions come out. When you operate in a “me vacuum” and disregard others as you move about your world you are not adding to your community in a positive way; you are not setting an example to be followed. In fact, you may be perpetuating uncivil behavior.

How do you practice civility? How can you be more civil?