Theodore Hesburgh, former Notre Dame president, said: My basic principle is that you don’t make decisions because they are easy; you don’t make them because they are cheap; you don’t make them because they are popular; you make them because they’re right.
Interestingly I think a lot of people do take the easy way out or go the popular route to avoid having to face a challenging or less than ideal situation or one that might result in a confrontation. I am sure I have caved at times and gone the easy or popular route – hopefully, though, those times have been over issues that were inconsequential. Like opting to go along with a restaurant choice that everyone else prefers when I’d rather go someplace else. With the really important stuff, however, I hope I’m following what I think is right. Right for me, my family, whoever is involved or whatever is at stake.
It’s important to know that the decisions you make are “right”. I try to live my life guided by my values and in general I think my philosophy is to live my life in a way that brings me happiness and to hurt no one in the process. Hurt or discord can’t always be avoided but, in general, if you are truly trying to do the right thing for all involved then you should at least be able to minimize the bad. When I make decisions that require any pondering or deeper thought (not ones like “which pants do I wear today” or “do I need to go to the store or can it wait until tomorrow”) I have to ask myself a few questions, like these:
- What do I honestly want or need?
- Is what I want/need good for me and anyone else involved? And if not, how does that play a role in my decision?
- Is my decision fair to all involved?
- Will I be happy with the decision I make and the potential consequence(s)/outcome(s)?
- Is it the responsible thing to do?
It’s my values that help me know that my decisions are right. I have to be honest with myself, ensure I am being responsible and fair in and with my choices, know that I will be happy with the choice I make and that the impact on others is negligible or at least that I’ve done all I can to make it so.
Sometimes we have to make unpopular or tough choices to do what is right and it takes courage to do that but if you keep your focus on doing what’s right – what you honestly believe to be the best choice – then you can feel good about your decisions even if they cause some undesirable or difficult consequences. Sometimes it’s our “gut” that tells us what is right – I think that our gut feelings are often right because in our gut lies our values. They are in us and guide us and sometimes you just know. But when you don’t or are unsure, you can ask yourself questions like those above to help you get there. It’s what I try to do.
What do you do? How do you know when your decisions are right?
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