1. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
2. Great love and great achievements involve great risk.
3. Approach love and cooking with great abandon.
4. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
5. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
I’m not a follower of or am that aware of the Dalai Lama’s views but I do run across quotes from him on occasion and I tend to agree with much of what I’ve read that he has said. I thought I’d go ahead and share my views on his above thoughts as food for thought.
1. So often we let small things ruin our day. Sometimes we let little things ruin a friendship. A few ill-chosen words by a friend needn’t blot out years of friendship. A little spat over something small – forgetting a lunch date, the voicing of a strong, opposing opinion or maybe a little inconsiderate behavior towards you – should be kept in perspective. Our actions sometimes belie how important someone is to us, especially when those actions are solitary in nature and unrepeated. A little forgiveness can go a long way.
2. Sometimes you have to take risks to reach the pinnacle of something – like love. We often don’t trust ourselves with something so big, so powerful, so potentially rewarding. It’s “safer” to be conservative, to take the easy or uncomplicated path. To achieve greatness in something it often involves reaching beyond your comfort zone, saying yes to your heart and letting your emotions, what you feel inside guide you. It is risky – you may be risking a broken heart or there may be other risks involved – but in taking that risk you may find that great love; that something you didn’t realize was out there for you. Isn’t the possibility of experiencing something that amazing well worth the risks involved?
3. This kind of builds upon #2. You have to throw caution to the wind when you are in love sometimes. You have to let yourself go, lose your inhibitions, give all of yourself to that person you love; you have to take chances, embrace the unexpected, the unknown, the unconventional even. To do so is liberating; it’s invigorating. Be passionate. Be in it with all your heart and soul. If you do you will find an incredible happiness; an incredible gratification.
4. It’s pretty hard not to say “remember when…” when you are angry and trying to make a point or maybe “win”. However, it rarely does much good to drag in past issues when dealing with a current disagreement. Opening old wounds is usually not wise – nor is doing the “I told you so” thing. If you have a disagreement, in order to resolve it quickly you need to keep it in perspective focusing only on it – not linking it to or referring to past transgressions. Deal with the issue at hand. That’s the respectful thing to do.
5. Your home is your refuge, often the center of your universe. You should feel welcome, comfortable and loved when you are there. People create home environments differently. Sometimes they surround themselves with things – heirlooms, pictures, artwork – that remind them of people they have loved or love. These surroundings can bring you physical comfort or give you a good feeling but most important are the people who live in the home and the way that they move about and interact. You won’t be comfortable on that cushy couch if you don’t feel cared about and loved by the people who are in the room with you. You should give of yourself to those with whom you live showing them with your words and your actions that you care. That makes for an environment where love can thrive if it is going to thrive.
I’m not the greatest at number 1. I can be a grudge holder so I need to get better at that for when you hold grudges something little sometimes all of a sudden seems big. I agree 100% with #2 and #3. While not normally a risk-taker I think taking risks for the sake of love is totally worth it and that loving with great abandon, well, it’s the only way if you can let yourself do so. I tend to follow #4 for when I’ve not followed it the waters get muddied and often the issue at hand gets forgotten. I only bring up past issues if dealing with a recurring issue otherwise there is no reason to do so. Lastly #5 – it’s important for children to grow up feeling loved; to see examples of caring people in their homes, their lives, their communities. I try, through my words and actions to be a good example for my children, to make sure that they know what it feels like to be loved, to instill in them the importance of being caring, thoughtful, considerate individuals who will recognize love when it comes to them.
Does your practice of love take seriously the Dalai Lama’s reminders?
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