To Be Really Rich

Charles Collier, in his book, Wealth in Families, says, “In the end, what we really care about is much deeper than financial wealth. The desire for meaning and genuine connection will always transcend wealth. As my father wrote many years ago, ‘To be really rich is to be rich in achievement, rich in experience, and rich in friendship.’”

This is quite timely considering the state of our economy these days. Many people who thought themselves rich or doing well financially are now not feeling quite so confident in this aspect of their lives. There are a few folks – experts or authorities – being interviewed who are saying that it’s time to get back to basics, back to the things that are really important like friends, family, interests – things we care about. My question is, why do we have to go “back” there? Regardless of our financial well-being, shouldn’t those things always be at the top of our list? Have we become so accustomed to assessing how valuable things are in our life by looking at price tags? Do we let those price tags define how “rich” our lives are? How happy we are? Do we rate our personal “richness” by the size of our home? The quantity of cars in our driveway? Or how many big screen televisions we have? I think many people do look at these things as what defines a good life; as what makes them rich. And I think they are wrong – or at least really missing out. I think the size of our hearts is way more important; the frequency with which we smile and laugh; the depth of our friendships (not the number of friends); how deep we love; how moved we are by things that we care about. Those are the irreplaceable “things” in our lives. Priceless, as they say.

Don’t get me wrong, a comfortable life is great. A nice home to live in, comfy furniture and non-essential luxuries are all appreciated and enjoyed but we’ve heard time and again about tornados or fires completely destroying homes and what is longed for most in the wreckage are the photos, the memories, the stuff that cannot be replaced with an insurance check. I might love my sofa but it wouldn’t really be that hard to replace it. If I lost my best friend, however, I’d never stop grieving.

So, do I consider myself rich? Absolutely. I have people in my life who I cannot imagine living without. People who make me laugh and who can move me to tears. People who I am sad to have to say goodbye to whenever we are together and must part. There are never-ending interests and curiosities that feed my brain and body. There is work and there is play – from both I grow and become more educated in one way or another. These things are far more important than any thing I own. And while I know things can have meaning – heirlooms and special gifts – what is it that gives those things their meaning? The price tags? No. It’s the connection to a person that makes any ‘thing’ special or meaningful.

Things themselves are nice, even bringing fun and entertainment at times but when you get down to it, they are not really what “does it” for us. A cottage in the Caribbean is a dream but incomplete if it does not include that special someone to share it with. A glass of merlot can taste lovely but isn’t it better when you’re sharing the bottle with a friend? The big game on the big screen television can look amazing and certainly be enjoyed by the sports fan, but isn’t the experience enhanced when you include friends and family?

We work our whole lives to have the best life we can, to provide ourselves and our families with as much opportunity to thrive as we possibly can. There is nothing wrong with that. What I think is wrong, or certainly unfortunate, is if you forget along the way what’s really important to you on the inside, what really does it for you in your heart. I’ve never felt touched by an expensive piece of furniture, a nice oriental rug, a fancy car – I’ve appreciated them, maybe even wanted them or bought them but never have I felt a real connection with a material object. I have, however, experienced love, passion, friendship, camaraderie, humor, sadness, happiness, success, failure, joy and grief well beyond what I could have ever imagined in my life. And this is what I think makes me really rich.

Do you think of yourself as “really rich?” Why?